Hummingbird.

So I had an absolutely perfect weekend with my Jock. I’m so glad we’re back to normal. It was like nothing was wrong. I loved it. We went to The Redneck’s 40th birthday party last night (Saturday night) and although I was apprehensive, I had an absolutely amazing time. By all accounts Jock and I had amazing sex when we got home but I will admit that I was plastered. Or trolleyed. Or bungalowed… for those that have ever watched the British comedian Michael McIntyre; I was d-r-u-n-k. I don’t remember us having sex.

I do remember being stood up in his kitchen, leaning back against the tall refrigerator, head banging against the microwave every time I threw it back in ecstasy as he gave me what felt to be the best head I had ever gotten in my life. Apparently we had very angry sex. He told me bits and pieces and I keep getting little flashbacks. It was scratching and biting. He had two massive bite marks on his chest and I have a big scratch on the back of my neck and my back. It was furious sex. There were clothes scattered everywhere. We were meant to have popped home and then went next door to The Redneck’s house but we didn’t make it that far. The Redneck called us as I remember lying on the bed, Jock’s mouth buried deep in my pussy and I answered the call, managing a husky “Give us five minutes” before we got totally carried away and didn’t end up going anywhere. That’s all I remember so far but bits keep coming back to me. I remember feeling very, very good.

I was worried about going because it was the first time we would have seen other since we had the big fight. I didn’t want to get angry drunk – this is something that seems to happen very easily with me, hence the fact that I don’t generally drink anymore. I hadn’t eaten much that day and I barely drink anymore so I knew the booze would hit me hard. Despite the fact that I felt so upper class and out of place in the redneck little world I had found myself in, I had an utterly brilliant night. Jock and I even managed a whispered heart-to-heart in the jam-packed bar, exchanging details of how much we meant to each other and how we shouldn’t have stupid fights again.

He didn’t do any of those annoying things that boys do when they go to the bar with their girlfriends – he didn’t leave me by myself while he went and chatted with his work buddies and friends. He took me along and introduced me to them. He didn’t ignore me in conversation. He made me feel completely at ease and totally wanted. It made me realise exactly how happy this guy makes me. I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy. We have something very, very special here and I’m gonna do my damn hardest to make sure that our pride doesn’t get in the way and threaten to destroy us again.

We have a great connection. He drives me insane crazy. He told me that because we hadn’t spoken in so long and he hadn’t seen me in forever (because of the silly big fight), when I walked out my front door all dressed up on Saturday night, his heart skipped a beat and he got butterflies. It was the gayest and cutest thing he’s ever said to me. On the outside I’m like “Ew” but on the inside, my heart is melting.

“I have a confession” he said to me. “You’re my woman and my best friend” 

He says the cutest things.

“You’re my hummingbird. You’re the one. I totally know that now.” 

Apparently the hummingbird reference is from a film… Con Air I think? I haven’t seen it and I don’t know it but he calls me that from time to time.

He also told me that he knows we are going to live together. Apparently taking me home on Saturday night really got to him and he doesn’t ever want to let me leave. I think we’re starting to get real serious. We have decided that our anniversary is going to be 26th June – that’s the day we had our third date and went camping. That means that we have been together just shy of five months and he is already throwing around the idea of us living together. I know I fall in love hard and fast but this is faster than the speed of light even by my own standards. It’s not forced-fast though; it’s natural fast. It’s just happening that way. I always thought that meeting my “one” would be all fireworks and hit-by-a-train kinda stuff. This isn’t like that but it feels good anyway. We had a very obvious connection on our very first date and things haven’t really gone smoothly, but they’ve gone perfectly if that even makes sense. The stupid fight was a good thing for us. It made us both realise how happy we are together and that can only be a good thing, right? I could be with this guy. Really be with him.

I’m his hummingbird <3